Another win for logic
In everyone’s life there comes a time when one starts questioning their own beliefs and perception of life. As for me it was early, too early I guess. My story began when I was only six years old, I had seen an airplane flying high in the sky. I was amazed by the scene, how the plane was touching the clouds while carving into the sky. This simple experience sparked the first question into my mind. How can an airplane fly, but we can’t? How does it work? I asked my sister about it and she talked to me about physics and all the physicists who had contributed to the science that made these types of things possible. It amazed me, I started asking my parents and everyone else about how the world works.
I wanted to know everything, and I asked questions about everything. After that I came across the time travel theory, how it may or may not work, and this idea introduced me to one of the most important physicists in history, Albert Einstein. I was too young to understand his works, all I had was a basic understanding of science. With time, my thirst for knowledge grew immensely. And of course, as any curious child, I questioned myself about the idea of the God.
I started with one simple question,
who is God?
That question led to dozens of other questions, like where is God? What was there before God? How can he be infinite? I just asked questions without getting answers. Everyone was avoiding my questions, so I turned to the only friend who answered me, science! Science gave me many answers regarding my life, it answered everything I asked about. Except for this God person. God had no place in the books of science, and that made me feel even worse. So I went back to religion. (shame is a strong tool)
I came from a regular muslim family, my father never asked me to do anything religious, he was very open to everything, rarely talked about religion or did anything religious. My mother however used to pray -not that much but she still prayed-, she never forced me to do anything. She just kept asking me to remember God and always ask him for health/forgiveness and that type of thing.
So my first religion was obviously Islam. I read the Quran cover to cover several times. Tried to comprehend it, tried to wrap my head around it. It worked fine in the beginning, but when it came to my original question, who/where/when/why/what is god? It failed to have any real answer… Yet again. So I continued with Islam until around age eleven, until the questions started to surface again, I wanted to know so badly. And eventually Islam completely failed me, so I tried Christianity.
I read the new testament, and I had the same reaction as with the Quran. But regardless I converted to Christianity, hoping that the holy spirit might touch me, which eventually didn’t. So after some time as a Christian, I realized that it’s no different than Islam.
I did the same thing again, but this time by converting to Judaism, again I left. After those failed experiences, I considered giving myself a break. So I left religion, and came back to my old friend, science. During this time I referred to myself as agnostic. I recognized myself as one for almost 7 years, and never thought about being an atheist. Because I always kept a small amount of hope of finding a God, but I didn’t.
Though I tried different religions during that period, but each religion was just as bad if not worse than the other. So after seven years of struggle with everything and all kinds, I gave up the idea of a God completely and began to publicly declare myself an atheist.
Physics played the biggest part in helping me understanding where I am at in this life, not to mention all the suffering, war, and other major catastrophes that were happening, and still happening around the world, which the imaginary God didn’t bother himself to help even one starving child, or one innocent victim.
All of these things gave me the courage to speak out. In the end, since I have become an atheist, my life has changed for the better. I started to accept things just as they are, not imposing my ideas on others.