All Atheists Have A Voice; personal stories of coming to atheism and troubles in doing so

All Atheists Have A Voice; personal stories of coming to atheism and troubles in doing so

Ndabe Msizi Kweyama

…I come from a Christian family. A normal middle class black family that is moderately religious and set in their conviction and usual beliefs that Jesus is walking through life with them and all the other usual Christian idiomatic postulations…Ive never been hard done or mistreated by the church in anyway directly or purposefully. To make a long story short I was working a desdend career filled with personal frustration and anxiety. I’d made a career choice, though not miserable, I could no longer rely on to provide the quality if life I dreamed of…I decided to take action or risk dying wondering what I could have become. This “life spring clean ” naturally had me looking onward and asking myself what I wanted to do, what I believed and what I stood for……I decided, unlike my career choice that got me into the financial mess and boxed in situation I found myself in, I would do thorough research and honestly confront myself and my beliefs in the best way I knew how. I needed to self analyse and look at who I was and wanted to do…So i hit the internet! Book stores, databases you name it. I still had a day job but the more I did this the more empowered I felt. I self studied philosophy, reasoning, history, design, evolution. I glossed over all it in search of the truth of the world. How we came to be and where we might be going. I spent years building a digital library of my own. going over everything including religion albeit on a generalist level……don’t get me wrong I’m no university professor , but I don’t think I’m the layman I was before. Getting back to religion, I decided to end with this as I was still a moderate believer at the time and I’d quietly entertained the idea from time to time that I might be wrong ( a thought that made me feel horrible, treacherous towards my family, isolated and alone and even arrogant and vain! Something no reasonable person wants to labelled as)…But my eureka moment came when I stumbled upon San Harris. Initially I was horrified by his direct and concise indictment of Christianity and Islam (not to mention his book sleeve design in all black made him look like an antichrist figure m the type we’d been warned about in the bible and numerous sermons as children growing :)…after reading and re-reading Sam’s books I realised I coukd no longer lie to myself. Every way I looked at it the holy book and its proponents seemed to appear down right psychotic! A short while later I began building my new life plan. How I wanted to start my own company and design my life anew. I’ve kind of known all my life I’m not the type of fellow who’s going to play the game, flash a smile, win the popularity contest and ride off with the girl. I’m the guy who’s going to burn the midnight oil and wipe the frost off my windshield at some lonely office park while the other had all the fun, this used to bother me but I realised I wasn’t bothered by the work, but rather that I didn’t quite fit in anywhere.If I dropped dead at that office park no one would really notice till days later.I can admit now that did feel crummy back then…(oh rats I just deleted the next section I’ll try rewrite it. 🙂 anyways going on, I eventually discovered the work of Chris Hitchens. This was a proverbial bolt of lighting to my mind. Very few scholars or people have made such an impact on my life. His arguments are succinct, of our world, and strike a death blow at esoteric mysticism, religious fallacy and other mental cultures that continue to plague our world. Atheism is simply taking the natural world at its word!…Athiesm has emotionally and psychologically redeemed my life. I take greater self responsibility, I’m more creative while still possess a mind for critical discourse. I’m more tolerant because I understand the science and reason behind this behaviour. Other softer though equally important things like my sex life and relationships have been completely revolutionised as a simple function of my psychological outlook. I’m not saying everything is perfect but it’s far more high definition than what I had in my past life…I look at problems like what they’re having in America with far left vs right and i think if we had enough secularists in congress we could have so much ground coveted in less time at less cost. I look at racism issues back here’s at home in South Africa. nothing more than variables and patterns of evolution that have been completely misconstrued, misinterpreted and have cost our civilastion incalculable and needless misery. This is how I see the world now. We continue to devastate ourselves by not embracing reason. Causing each other pain when most of our hard, grain & sand problems can be trial balanced with a 10$ scientific calculator. What a tragic space kingdom! What a paradise lost! That’s my 10 cents. I hope this is helpful. N.M Kweyama. South Africa

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