I understand that it is quite possible that you and I have not yet met in real life, but I have decided to give you the title of “friend”.
Personal Belief: “You” and I are friends.
Do you disagree with me?
Do we have ideological differences?
Do you believe that you have negative feelings in my direction?
Do you personally object to me giving you this title in my own life?
None of these things affect my personal definition of what a “friend” is, so it will not disrupt my belief that we are friends.
As we are both human, we are bound by the condition of existence we have found ourselves in, we have the same types of needs, and we are doing our best.
Personal Belief: At all times, all humans are doing their best.
For me, this is enough to call you friend, regardless of my personal opinion about your value system, or how you have engaged, or are currently engaging, with life.
I’m not going to hold the condition you have found yourself in against you. If you are or have been harmful, I believe in rehabilitation; I do not believe in retributive justice.
Personal Belief: Retributive justice is harmful.
As friends, I plan to talk to you about my feelings and needs.
To discuss my feelings and needs, I will be referring to various lists of human needs, such as the Nonviolent Communication Feelings and Needs Inventories.
When communicating with me, I may refer you to these inventories and ask if you would be willing to discuss, from various lists of words, what your experience is like. You will always be free to decline the invitation to utilize these communication tools.
As autonomous individuals, we can make requests of each other for assistance to meet our needs, and we will always be free to say yes or no to these requests. We are also free to change our yeses to noes, and our noes to yeses, as we so choose. Additionally, we will be free to ask for an infinite amount of space from each other, as suit our individual needs. We will in no way required to connect with each other on any level at any point in time. Our connection and the ways in which we connect will be a choice we both get to make.
To connect with you at this particular moment in my life, here is my current state of being:
Today, friend, I feel satisfied, but I have two needs to work on at the moment: Movement and Water.
My plan to meet these needs are to drink water and….
Boom. Movement. I consistently struggle with movement. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been on the lookout for a treadmill for 50 USD or less. I have made space in my home to receive it. But until I find what I am looking for, I still have the need in life to move and I can feel that this need is at a deficit.
How do you meet your need for movement?
What are your feelings and needs today?
What is your plan for how you are going to meet the needs that are not yet being met?
I’m looking forward to communicating with you.
I’m looking forward to sharing this journey with you.